uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I have post one night stand depression
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