I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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