hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
