he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize