YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
