No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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