maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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