I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize