I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
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