I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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