She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
