No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
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6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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