What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
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I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
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I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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