do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
