Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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