"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think my fart just growled at me.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
