She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
