I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Randomize
