That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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