so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
