Christians are straight up FREAKS
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
