You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
