I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
