do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
