She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
