Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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