ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
