Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
