Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
