absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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