If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Dick very happy bro
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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