Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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