Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
