My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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