The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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