I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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