I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
a search helicopter?!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
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woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize