Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
