I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
