Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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