Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
