i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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