Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize