somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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