I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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