How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
