What did we do last night that was yellow?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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