Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
