Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.