apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
