My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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