The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
