So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
