you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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