It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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