how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
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