Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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